Okay ... so true confessions ... All of that posting about finally being ready to nourish myself?  I guess I wasn't ready!  For years now I've felt that need or longing to be completely loving to my body. To properly feed, care for, and de-stress this one and only temple I've been given.  Intentions are lovely ... but application is vital.

Shutting down my engines with autoimmune flares, struggling with single mom stressors and earthshaking health crisis of a loved one - can overwhelm all those good intentions and tend to show you what you're made of.  I was not pleased with what I saw.  I dropped every ball that was related to self care while I juggled all the others with more ferver.

Now that my Dad is done with all the rounds of radiation and has moved on to five days per month on chemo -he's feeling a lot more normal (other than fatigue).  I, however have been feeling worse with daily headaches added to my lengthy symptoms list.  Time to listen up and pay attention to that siren sounding from my poor body!

Standing in line at Home Goods (I seriously love that place) I struck up a conversation with a woman - this is a common occurrence - I've never met a "stranger".  We chatted about the store (she loves it too) and I asked her what kind of work she does.  Accupuncture and other Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) practice!  One of the few avenues I've never traveled down in search of this elusive health and well being I long for.  I felt that rush when you recognize something has just been gifted to you (divinely) and I asked her for her business card.  I called her the following day and made an appointment for the next week.  Exciting!

Meanwhile my headaches got worse and progressed to the first migraines I've ever had.  The - hide in the dark wishing the world would be quiet and go away or I'll throw up from this head splitting pain - kind of migraines.  I have new found empathy and even more compassion for migraine sufferers now.

I went to the School of Google to beg for answers as to why I had this new painful symptom.  Gluten?  Stress?  Caffeine?  (No because I'd given up my diet coke vice) ... Could it be food allergies?  That looked like a strong possibility so I found a local Naturopathic doctor that offered food allergy testing.  Another appointment made for the following week.  So my headaches (which lasted 8 days) and I, waited patiently.  Hah.  Well - we waited.

My desire for finding wellness has once again been pushed to the front of the line.  How will we (especially women) thrive in our busy and hectic lives if we don't give to ourselves - like we are always willing to give to others?  That reasoning that you need to  put on your own oxygen mask first and then help your child/family/friend/neighbor/community etc etc etc.  How have we really been giving so fully to others when we're running on empty?

I'm setting the intention to fill up my own "tank" ... and it's from the overflowing goodness that we can freely share with others.  No running ourselves ragged and being the martyr!  Fill ourselves with care and love and nourishment - then we can spread all that goodness around.

So here's my admission - that I have NOT been giving care to myself.  I do consider all of my bumps in the road - not as failure (ick!) - they are more ways that I'm gaining understanding of myself and the world around me.  I'm in training.  I think we all are - or should be.  Learning and practicing and making adjustments to get a better outcome.  Right now I'm focussing on nourishment training!

What makes a superhero great?  Their super powers?  The unbelievable feats that they can manage?  The way they rescue and help others selflessly?

Wonder Woman ROCKS!  She's smart and brave, honest and kind - and she has unlimited strength and energy!  Sign me up!!  (And being a mom of two boys, I do sometimes wish I had The Lasso of Truth.  It would be very handy in answering the question "who started it"?)  I would be thrilled to slap on some invincibility bracelets and charge ahead, through all of life's challenges, feeling assured that I could handle it!

We've all got stores of "Super" inside of us - just waiting to be uncovered and put to good use.

Just after celebrating the new year, my strong and healthy dad was taken to the emergency room.  His doctor thought he had several small strokes (TIA's).  But after an EKG, Cat-scan and MRI; they told us that what he was really having were seizures that were caused by a 2.5 cm brain tumor that was probably cancerous.

Time stops.  Thankfully breathing is automatic because that would have stopped too.  What can you say except "okay".  Okay means that I am accepting that there is a new - life altering challenge ahead and I need to be ready to move forward.  NOT that I am okay with the brain tumor ... just that we heard and understood the name of the enemy so that we could start to build a plan of attack.

Little drops of "Super" slipped out from hiding as I held my dad's hand and fed him ice chips right after he had brain surgery.  The pain that he felt for the first 2 days was staggering and his strength was amazing.  His "super" was showing all over the place as he tried to communicate with every nurse and doctor that came in to see him.  The tumor was in the left temporal region of his brain and the surgery caused major issues with his speech.  He still managed to thank every person who came into his room.  He said they were "good" - which was his universal word for helpful, skilled, kind, funny or friendly.  He struggled to process and associate words and to understand the things he was told.  Progress has been slow and steady.  The surgeon (who is a true angel) assured us that Dad would "be himself" after the swelling went down.  And he is, a week later - memories, sense of humor and quirks - all in tact!

We were given the devastating diagnosis of Grade 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme.  The most aggressive form of brain cancer.  Somehow my Step-Mom and I didn't feel a sense of doom or grieving ... just a quiet assurance that there were things that can be done to help this man to heal and survive.

My studies, over a decade, have shown me awesome truths about whole food nutrition, supplements, positive mental outlook, prayer and emotional well being.  There is a wealth of nourishment and healing that can happen at home ... we can do our part while his team of doctors do what they do best.  I will be posting on this incredible journey to healing for my father.  From the heart of a daughter who believes - with all of myself - that he can be in remission and feeling well for decades to come!

Sometimes we get overwhelmed with daily life and can lose sight of the big picture.  When we're so focused on our routines we don't usually look beyond and see how blessed we are and how much more we have to give.

Earth-shaking health crisis is a time of awakening.

True growth happens when things are completely beyond your control and you have to call out to God to help you to stretch and bend ----- sometimes making a brand new mold and pouring yourself into it.

"Super" qualities can emerge and you will find the strength to face whatever enemy you must stand up against -
and fight.

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